Have you heard people referred to as being an old soul? I have people in my life who I think fit that description. They are wise. They are spiritually wise, emotionally wise, worldly wise. They know a lot about everything and they know how to do a lot.
Lots of times, I feel like a brand new soul! A brand new, novice soul. That's gotta be why goofy stuff happens to me, right? That gotta be why I'm a klutz in the kitchen, right?
I want to feel comfortable in the kitchen...not chaotic. But, chaos seems to follow me in the kitchen! I've accidentally pre-heated the oven with a deep frier in it...with hardened grease in the deep frier. That was fun...8 firetrucks later! No, I didn't burn down the house. It would have been especially bad if I had because I was getting married in 2 days and there was lots of wedding stuff in that house. Oh, and to make it even better, I had my 8 year old sister and 10 year old brother with me! *SIGH* OMG!
I've set the smoke alarm off while cooking instant mashed potatoes. Yes, that's right, I said instant mashed potatoes! Another time, I accidentally set beans or rice on fire underneath the burner. I don't remember which, for all I know it could be both! That was a small fire, though, that only lasted a second or two and the smoke alarm didn't even go off!
I've set the smoke alarm off while cooking almond roca, like 5 times while cooking 1 batch! OMG, someone please help me! I was home alone, too. And, while you're cooking almond roca you have to constantly stir the mixture or it will stick to the pan. So, I'm constantly stirring my mixture, feeling like a hot shot because I am making almond roca, when some of the mixture overflows. Darnit! The mixture hits the burner and starts to smoke. Apparently, when that happens a few times, or 10, it causes smoke to permeate throughout the house and trigger the smoke alarm! So, I turn the overhead stove fan on and open the kitchen window. The beeping stops for now. Yay! I feel smarter than the smoke alarm. I solved the problem! But, a few minutes later I hear, "beep, beep, beep..." SHOOT!
By now, I have a dog cowering between my legs because apparently "beep, beep, beep," scares him to death! Could be because the last time that happened he got hustled out of the house and a ton of big, loud, bright red fire trucks showed up with men in big, bright yellow uniforms running all over the neighborhood, into the house...you get the idea. Intimidating for a little dog.
Anyway, back to the roca. What do I do? I decide that I have to turn the fan on that's in the dining room. That will help. That will make the smoke alarm stop. Ok, so, I have to stop stirring for a second and run to the fan, pull the cord, then run back to the roca and pick up stirring. I can do that fast. Shouldn't hurt a thing, I think to myself. Ok, so, I stir then, I stop stirring and rest the spoon against the pan. I run under the fan as fast as I can, grab the cord to turn the fan on, pull the cord and... the lights turn off! SHOOT! I pulled the wrong cord! But, I pulled and ran! So, now I'm back in the kitchen, stirring my almond roca, the dining room light is off, no fan is circulating, the beep, beep, beeping is still occurring, my dog is shaking between my legs and I sigh and think, "oh my gosh!"
I have to try it again, I've got to get the fan turned on so the smoke alarm stops! I stop stirring and rest the spoon against the pan. I run the short distance as fast as I can under the fan and light. I turn on the light and turn on the fan! I pull, pull, pull those cords! The light is on and the fan is moving and I've run back to the roca and picked up the stirring! Phew! But, wait a minute, the fan is barely moving...I accidentally turned the fan on low instead of medium. I wish I was making this stuff up. In my nervousness, I pulled the fan cord one too many times. SO! I run back one more time to get the fan on medium and...voila! The beeping stops! The stirring continues, the dog goes and lays down. All is peaceful. Sigh of relief.
So, if you ever need entertainment just come to my house while I'm doing something in the kitchen. It's almost always exciting.
Martha Stewart I am not. But, my almond roca turned out GREAT, if I do say so myself and the fact that I can make almond roca...no matter how it went down, makes me feel pretty darned accomplished!
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