Apology Letter

Dear Suze Orman,

I must apologize to you in advance for what I am about to do on Friday November 26.

You recommend having a substantial amount of moola in one's savings account (you sound like my mother). While I recognize the importance of that, I also recognize the importance of fulfilling one's own crazy and sick fascination with battling the crowds and cold to score the best deals possible on bath towels and slippers and TVs and dog beds and movies. Ahhh, but at the end of the day, the satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment you feel...indescribable!

So, in advance, I must apologize to you for my spending behavior on November 26. I promise to repent all year, I promise to act cordially to all the other shoppers out there even though they may not do the same...but I do not promise to not go at it again next year...teeheehee.

Sincerely,

One of Your (I guess, not so faithful) Listeners

CRYING part II

FRIENDS.

The TV show FRIENDS first aired on TV the exact month that my parents separated.

FRIENDS ended while I was in college.

FRIENDS was my favorite TV show! It got me through so much when I was looking for thirty minutes to escape in another world, especially in high school!

When I graduated high school and moved into an apartment with my little roommate Jenn, our friends would come over every Thursday night and watch FRIENDS.

Ahhh, those were the good ol' days. FRIENDS. Will & Grace. ER. Great TV shows!

When it was time for FRIENDS to go off the air, my BFF Paula came over to watch with me and Dave. For one hour before the series finale there was a FRIENDS tribute. When the tribute ended, before the show even began, Paula and I were in tears.

Dave, feeling a little uncomfortable with this estrogen fest, didn't know what to do. All he knew is that he didn't want to be in the living room with two uncontrollably crying females. So, he did what any man with a caring heart and clever brain would do. It got him out of the room so he didn't have to sit with two crying females and it got him brownie points!

He got up. He walked into the kitchen. He retrieved a box of Ghiradelli brownie mix and began making brownies, chocolate, for these two devastated girls.

The icing on the cake though...he brought us the left over brownie batter and two spoons! We began soothing our sorrows away, before the brownies were even ready.

Chocolate healing all wounds...pretty much not a myth!

CRYING

It was an unusually rare occasion. It was a work night and I was in bed early! Early! EARLY! Can I get an AMEN?!

Because I was in bed early I allowed myself the luxury of flipping through a few channels before I set off for dream land only to be awoken by the most obnoxious sounding beeping that my ears have ever heard. I would so much rather wake up to the sound of an F-15 engine than beeping that doesn't quit. Why do we do that to ourselves?!

Anyway! (I think I type 'anyway' on this blog more than any other word!) That evening I came across a move on TV, it appeared to be a love story. The heroin had to choose between two handsome men. I was hooked. I'm a sucker for romance. Oh yes I am.

Then, all of a sudden in my movie, the two young lovers weren't young anymore. They were old and the old man was telling the old woman a story. I was so confused! The movie went back to my young lovers and happiness settled in again. But, alas, the movie switched back to the old people, who were now in a nursing home and things were taking an unhappy turn, and fast! But, I was hooked! There was no turning the channel now!

Needless to say, this movie that I stumbled on was, "The Notebook." A movie that I had vowed to never watch because I had heard that it was terribly sad.

So there I lay in my big bed, it's now past my bedtime because I got hooked into this movie and I'm sobbing because my two young lovers ended up in a nursing home with Alzeimer's and died. Yea, not a happy way to end one's night. Needless to say, the obnoxious beeping the next morning came way too fast.

I had higher hopes for the next evening. Mine and Dave's Netflix movie arrived and we had plans to watch it.

I was very much looking forward to our movie night and when I got home from work, I promptly opened the Netflix package.

The movie was, "The Bucket List."

WHAT?!?! I screamed in my head! This is not going to be happy, I thought, the movie is about dying! *SIGH*

So, Dave and I watched, "The Bucket List," which exceeded my expectations, but still ended with me sobbing. And, if you have estrogen running through your body like me then you know the tears don't automatically shut off when the credits begin to roll because you're replaying that sad, heartfelt, touching scene you just witnessed and you're thinking about that poor family who now has to...well, you get the idea.

It was at that point in time when Dave looked at me (he couldn't see me because I was hiding my tear drenched and snot laden face) and announced in a booming, happy voice, "Well that wasn't too sad, was it?!"

Now, thoroughly embarrassed, because only the best of girlfriends would understand this sudden outpouring of emotion, I stood up, turned my head away from him and rested my hand against my face so he couldn't see it, and began walking to the bathroom so I could cry in peace and said, "(sniff, sniff) Whatever,"! My wittyness sometimes shocks him into silence.