4 Things

1. I take care of the family finances; so, naturally, money is on my mind quite a bit. One morning while I was brushing my teeth, I had an epiphany. It dawned on me that in 7, 15 or maybe even 50 years from now I am going to wonder why I ever worried about money so much.

2. This is my favorite Christmas ornament; I've had it since 1985!

3. This ornament pretty much sums up my feelings; it reads, "I'm not cooking dinner tonight!"

4. What's that behind the door?

Who says you can't have a little bathroom humor on the Christmas tree?

Apology Letter

Dear Suze Orman,

I must apologize to you in advance for what I am about to do on Friday November 26.

You recommend having a substantial amount of moola in one's savings account (you sound like my mother). While I recognize the importance of that, I also recognize the importance of fulfilling one's own crazy and sick fascination with battling the crowds and cold to score the best deals possible on bath towels and slippers and TVs and dog beds and movies. Ahhh, but at the end of the day, the satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment you feel...indescribable!

So, in advance, I must apologize to you for my spending behavior on November 26. I promise to repent all year, I promise to act cordially to all the other shoppers out there even though they may not do the same...but I do not promise to not go at it again next year...teeheehee.

Sincerely,

One of Your (I guess, not so faithful) Listeners

CRYING part II

FRIENDS.

The TV show FRIENDS first aired on TV the exact month that my parents separated.

FRIENDS ended while I was in college.

FRIENDS was my favorite TV show! It got me through so much when I was looking for thirty minutes to escape in another world, especially in high school!

When I graduated high school and moved into an apartment with my little roommate Jenn, our friends would come over every Thursday night and watch FRIENDS.

Ahhh, those were the good ol' days. FRIENDS. Will & Grace. ER. Great TV shows!

When it was time for FRIENDS to go off the air, my BFF Paula came over to watch with me and Dave. For one hour before the series finale there was a FRIENDS tribute. When the tribute ended, before the show even began, Paula and I were in tears.

Dave, feeling a little uncomfortable with this estrogen fest, didn't know what to do. All he knew is that he didn't want to be in the living room with two uncontrollably crying females. So, he did what any man with a caring heart and clever brain would do. It got him out of the room so he didn't have to sit with two crying females and it got him brownie points!

He got up. He walked into the kitchen. He retrieved a box of Ghiradelli brownie mix and began making brownies, chocolate, for these two devastated girls.

The icing on the cake though...he brought us the left over brownie batter and two spoons! We began soothing our sorrows away, before the brownies were even ready.

Chocolate healing all wounds...pretty much not a myth!

CRYING

It was an unusually rare occasion. It was a work night and I was in bed early! Early! EARLY! Can I get an AMEN?!

Because I was in bed early I allowed myself the luxury of flipping through a few channels before I set off for dream land only to be awoken by the most obnoxious sounding beeping that my ears have ever heard. I would so much rather wake up to the sound of an F-15 engine than beeping that doesn't quit. Why do we do that to ourselves?!

Anyway! (I think I type 'anyway' on this blog more than any other word!) That evening I came across a move on TV, it appeared to be a love story. The heroin had to choose between two handsome men. I was hooked. I'm a sucker for romance. Oh yes I am.

Then, all of a sudden in my movie, the two young lovers weren't young anymore. They were old and the old man was telling the old woman a story. I was so confused! The movie went back to my young lovers and happiness settled in again. But, alas, the movie switched back to the old people, who were now in a nursing home and things were taking an unhappy turn, and fast! But, I was hooked! There was no turning the channel now!

Needless to say, this movie that I stumbled on was, "The Notebook." A movie that I had vowed to never watch because I had heard that it was terribly sad.

So there I lay in my big bed, it's now past my bedtime because I got hooked into this movie and I'm sobbing because my two young lovers ended up in a nursing home with Alzeimer's and died. Yea, not a happy way to end one's night. Needless to say, the obnoxious beeping the next morning came way too fast.

I had higher hopes for the next evening. Mine and Dave's Netflix movie arrived and we had plans to watch it.

I was very much looking forward to our movie night and when I got home from work, I promptly opened the Netflix package.

The movie was, "The Bucket List."

WHAT?!?! I screamed in my head! This is not going to be happy, I thought, the movie is about dying! *SIGH*

So, Dave and I watched, "The Bucket List," which exceeded my expectations, but still ended with me sobbing. And, if you have estrogen running through your body like me then you know the tears don't automatically shut off when the credits begin to roll because you're replaying that sad, heartfelt, touching scene you just witnessed and you're thinking about that poor family who now has to...well, you get the idea.

It was at that point in time when Dave looked at me (he couldn't see me because I was hiding my tear drenched and snot laden face) and announced in a booming, happy voice, "Well that wasn't too sad, was it?!"

Now, thoroughly embarrassed, because only the best of girlfriends would understand this sudden outpouring of emotion, I stood up, turned my head away from him and rested my hand against my face so he couldn't see it, and began walking to the bathroom so I could cry in peace and said, "(sniff, sniff) Whatever,"! My wittyness sometimes shocks him into silence.

I knew I was an NBC snob for a reason! (Meaning, I usually, for reasons unknown to myself, find myself watching TV shows that are only on that network).

First, The Biggest Loser, which, I must say, almost always makes me cry. The Biggest Loser is socially responsible. It gives hope to people who might otherwise have lost hope. Shoot, it gives hope to me that I might someday fit into those jeans I wore in high school, lol! But hey, I can't complain, the earrings I wore in high school still fit! The bra doesn't...but, that's a good thing! (Did I go too far on that last one?!?!)

Then, last night, I was privy to the TV show School Pride...another show that brought me to tears. Another show that is socially responsible. In this day and age, teachers are villainized, put-down. It's atrocious! School Pride showed how much the teachers care for and love their students...not to mention how much time they put into the classroom (or into the library, cafeteria, football field, music room...). It is atrocious that our society does not respect teachers more.

Another thing I find interesting...I hear parents complaining about the education system of the United States (you see it on the news, you hear a lot about it with this being election season) and it always makes me wonder, do those parents believe the school, classroom, teacher, where they send their child is a part of the problem, too? Hmmm...I'm thinking not.

The only thing School Pride was missing was how the higher-ups in education, who have usually never been in a classroom teaching, treat teachers. Sometimes, they are the biggest non-supporters of teachers. How hypocritical is that?!?!

The only other thing School Pride was missing was how those higher-ups in education change curriculum on teachers every year, every other year, etc. Parents, when do you expect teachers to learn that new curriculum? Just curious. Do you know what their contracted hours are? My contracted hours are 8am-12pm & 1pm-5pm...I'm not a teacher. Parents, do you think I stay at work until 7:30pm or even 8pm? No, I don't. I leave when my contracted hours are up. Parents, do you think teachers have that luxury? Not the good ones. And, trust me, there are substantially more good ones than not.

There's a lot that goes into teaching that the average Joe is unaware of.

Oh, and one more thing, if you can read this...if your kids can read this, THANK A TEACHER!

I SAID GOOD DAY!

It's the Simple things

1. For the first time in my life I went to see a movie, in a big movie theater, all by myself. And, I will have you know, it was quite a comforting experience.

2. One Sunday I had a 2 hour and 40 minute telephone conversation. The only thing better than that would have been a face to face conversation. When I got off the phone I felt like I had woken up from a much needed nap. The type of nap where you wake up not even realizing at first that you had fallen asleep. The type of nap where you wake up hot and sweaty because you slept so good. The type of nap where you wake up happy, peaceful and refreshed because your body really, really needed the rest. The type of nap where you wake up feeling recharged, rejuvenated...and all from a 2 hour and 40 minute telephone conversation.

5. One piece of evidence (out of millions) that I have the greatest friends in the world: I got a text message from my friend informing me that on football game days we will have food that is in theme with the teams. For example, if the Philadelphia Eagles play, we will have Philly cheese steak sandwiches. My friend then informed me that when tuberculosis is playing, in his and his team's honor, we will have lil' weenies!

Ahhh, I love it!

6. If you don't know who I am referring to when I refer to tuberculosis, you are better off, trust me.

7. Dave and I made a bet to see who could go the longest with out cussing. The winner would get sixty bucks. The price of a video game, for him. The price of a massage, for me. By the end of the night, we had both lost the bet! I tell no lie! It was probably a good thing we both lost the bet because we became do-it-yourselfers very shortly after that bet was made...I want you to know that I use the term 'we' very, very loosley. I just had to write the checks. Which was very, very painful. The end result, though...we now have green grass instead of brown dirt in our back yard! Whoop-whoop!

Part of me thinks I would of rather had a massage!

Why I Don't Cook Part 6,423

The other evening Dave and I were making spaghetti. He calls it goulash. I call it spaghetti. Just FYI.

We make spagoulash like every other American family. I buy a big ol' jar of Prego (traditional, of course), ground turkey and whole wheat pasta.

What?

Every American family doesn't make spagoulash that way?

Pish-posh!

The ground turkey was browned to perfection and the noodles had just been drained. At this juncture in our cooking extravaganza I informed Dave that I had this under control, I got it, I did not need his help and he could go sit down (I'm such a good cook I don't like people watching me. Yea, that's it...)

I got a lil' cocky.

I'm the daughter of a fighter pilot, it happens.

The noodles were back in the pot and I picked up the frying pan to dump the ground turkey in with the pasta. I gently tipped the frying pan on it's side, over the pot of noodles and then, with my black plastic spatula that has a corner missing because I once tried to use it to flip a pancake in a frying pan, thus melting the plastic, I began pushing the ground turkey towards the edge of the frying pan.

I had planned on the ground turkey falling gracefully into the hot pot of noodles.

I had not planned on the ground turkey going all over the stove, under the burner, down the front of the oven and all over the kitchen floor.

CRAP, I thought. Crap, Crap, CRAP! I could feel Dave's eyes rolling behind me.

I cringed as I began to hear him speak.

"You don't have finesse. You strong arm everything when you cook."

And then he chuckled.

Finesse? FINESSE? I've known Dave for ten years. In ten years, Dave has never once uttered the word finesse. Finesse is the type of word that I expect to hear from a male hair dresser whose wardrobe and shoes are far superior to mine...not from my husband...describing the reason for my kitchen catastrophes!

Lack finesse...

Hmmm...sigh...yep, I guess I do, lack finesse, but... only when it comes to cooking, baby!

I then preceded to laugh at my husband for using the word finesse. Wide-eyed and innocent he acted astonished by my amusement and he informed me that he indeed has quite a large vocabulary and that he is not 'eyegnorant'! Ahhh, victory was mine again! And, I will have you know, my 'strong arm' came in very handy when picking up all of the spilled ground turkey and his 'eyegnorance' didn't help a bit!