HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!

This is late because my computer decided to act up while I was trying to post this! HOW RUDE!

So, Happy Be-lated Birthday, MOM!


My Mom and I have a very close relationship.

My Mom makes it a point to have dinner with me at least once a month. I leave those dinners feeling so high on life that nothing could bring me down! We sit and talk...and eat...chocolate...for hours!

My Mom is modest and proper...but that's just on the surface and when she lets loose, boy do we all have fun! My Mom is also feisty...and a worry wart!


My Mom graced me with her presence at my Bachelorette party and my Mom, to my horror, educated me...I'll never forget this line as long as I live: "Oh, honey, if you think that's how it's done, you've got a lot to learn!"

I'll just leave what she was referring to to your imagination.




My Mom came to one of my birthday parties a few years ago. It was at a karaoke bar. My Mom threw back a shot with us girls, danced and even sang, "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" with us! I think it's so cool to be in a place where I can have that kind of fun with my Mom!



My Mom is very, VERY, gullible. My Uncle spray painted part of his lawn orange once and told my Mom that he bought special grass that grows orange! He used to toy with the tires on her car, he would bend down really close to the tire and blow through his mouth so it sounded like air was coming out of the tire. My Mom would squeal and freak out and get hysterical every time!






When I was in high school, to save on electricity, my Mom would leave the windows open in the spring and fall. To mess with her, I would start shouting, "Mom, stop! You're hurting me! I'll never do it again mom, I promise! No, not the belt!" My mom would be mortified! She would run around the house, slamming all the windows closed and I would chase her, continuing to yell atrocities.




Why is it so fun to mess with our moms?




When my Mom and I go to "Yo Yo Yogurt," the yogurt concoctions that she comes up with look like something you would expect from a little kid- her yogurt has a little bit of almost every topping! But you know what? It tastes sooo good!



I feel bad for my mom sometimes as she has a daughter (that would be me) who has so many, umm, errr, for lack of better word, unique experiences. So many in fact that said daughter coined them, "Missyisms." It's a wonder my Mom doesn't cringe when the phone rings and she sees that it's me.



"Mom, I don't want you to worry but I accidentally, almost burned the house down last night."

Me: Mom, guess what I did last night?
Mom: You got another tattoo didn't you?
Me: Yes! How'd you know?

Poor Mom!



"Mom, I don't want you to worry but I'm in horrible pain and called an ambulance, just to let you know. I'll keep you updated" (I had a kidney stone...in my early twenties...WHO does that happen to????)



"Mom, I just wanted to let you know the doctor is admitting me to the hospital." (Last December- asthma)



"Mom, I'm pregnant!" HA! That was just to see if you were paying attention!


"Mom, SURPRISE, I got Paul a PUPPY for his B-day! Now, he'll need to be let outside to relieve himself every 20 minutes and you can't take your eyes off of him, OK? Have fun!"

I was also the little girl who thought that "gently fold batter" meant that I could stick my hands in red velvet cake batter (red dye already added) and attempt to fold the batter!

My poor mom.

I was also the little girl who choked on a quarter while trying to eat snow, something I was not supposed to do. I also had eraser toppers for my pencils at school (we're talking Kindergarten here folks) because I used to eat the erasers!

My poor mom.

And, do I even need to mention the countless number of poor, homeless animals that I brought home?


SO, as a birthday present to you, Mom, I am NOT going to tell the infamous ranch-salad-dressing story! Does that make you happy, Mom? But, if people offer me enough money, I will so post that story because it's SO FUNNY, Mom!


Happy Birthday, MOM! I love you! Thank you for everything you have done for me and everything you continue to do for me! I'm sorry for any gray hairs I've given you!