Laid Off

This week I was informed that I (along with others) am being laid off from my job. Thank you California economy! (I hope the sarcasm does not taste too bitter.)

I knew this was a possibility and unlike last year, I stayed quite optimistic and had faith that whatever was going to happen, was going to happen, that it was out of my control and that I'd be OK no matter what. I decided that in the mean time, I would do my job to the best of my ability and if I did get laid off, I would have no regrets.

It still didn't soften the blow.

Have you ever had something happen where the ensuing quiet seemed excruciating loud? The air in the room bangs on your eardrums and it's as if you were in the front row at a KISS concert.

I have so many mixed feelings.

#1, of course I'm bummed. I have grown quite accustomed to seeing certain familiar faces 40 hours a week now for four years straight. I will miss certain people.

#2, of course I'm stressed about money. When you don't live with mommy and daddy anymore, stressing about money is just one of those realities, right? Or, am I doing something wrong?!

#3, there is a teeny, tiny part of me that is excited, anxious, to see what the future holds for me. I hope and pray that, like my Mom said, I am on to bigger and better things! I hope that whatever is next in store for me is something that I truly love and something that makes me uber happy.

I guess it's that #3 that keeps me going.