Sheesh

Sheesh, the range of emotions that I feel because of this lay off is quite surprising to me. My tummy is in knots; but, my head feels fine. I mean, I'm not too worried, in my head, about what is going to happen...but, I must be for my tummy to be in knots.

It's hard for me to fall asleep at night and then, when I am asleep, that's all I want to do. I just want to stay in bed. (I know, that's healthy, right?!)

Yesterday it hit me that I am going to have to start all over again. ((SIGH))

A slew of caring people have told me not to stress, because that's not good for my asthma and I'm in the middle of fighting a cold and fighting off my cough; so, to stress now, would be to exacerbate my asthma. What a freaken pain in the neck!

So, I have not cried and I am taking all asthma medicine that I can. I have not cried because 1) I hate crying and 2) the mucus (I know, lovely) that crying creates is a recipe for disaster with my asthma, I feel. It's the same reason I didn't let myself cry when we found out my doctor thought, in January, it would be one month before I could return back to work while Dave was already out of a job.

As I am typing all of this, it makes me feel resentful of a certain person. So, to you, person in my life who likes to call me weak, I'd like to say to you that you really have no idea what you are talking about. All you have managed to accomplish is to show me that 1) you don't know me at all, nor respect me and 2) you don't care about me. I'm not going to be anybody's punching bag. I have no room for that in my life.

I think that's about all for now.