Hearing their voice can make a tough day suddenly feel good. Hearing their voice instantaneously makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine (like I’m “a number one, top of the list, king of the hill, a number one…these little town blues…are melting away”)! Immediately.
Two of my dearest girlfriends have re-located, moved, vacated the California premises. I miss them so much. A part of me is empty. Paula moved almost 6 months ago; Michelle moved almost 9 months ago. When I see vehicles around town that look like theirs I still, STILL, even after all of this time, for a split second, think that it could be them in their vehicle. I guess old habits are hard to break.
SIGH
Jennifer, Paula, Michelle, Robin.
We’re a force to be reckoned with! HA!
Between the 5 of us, we have thousands of dollars invested in scrapbooking. Between the 5 of us, we’ve probably only scrapbooked once in the last year! Ah, but we used to have scrapbooking marathons where we would stay up until the wee small hours of the morning talking, laughing and eating.
Between the 5 of us there’s a lot of love, a lot of history, a lot of talking, a lot of listening, a lot of helping, a lot of supporting, a lot of fun and a lot of eating!
Paula always keeps us on our toes, challenging us to expand our horizons. Horseback riding on the beach, check! Dancing in night clubs, check! Day trips to Marine World, day trips to San Francisco, shopping trips, check/check/check! Scrapbooking, check! Forcing us to dress-up for Halloween…every year, CHECK! Pushing us to take the time to decorate for parties…which, in the end, were always well-worth it, check! Helping us move, helping us organize, helping us…whatever, check! Now, Paula wants to do hot-air-ballooning. Like everything else, some of us chickens are all very hesitant. Like everything else…I’m sure Paula will get her way eventually! OMG!
Michelle is game for anything. She is the busiest person I know. If her body didn’t require her to sleep, I think she would be up 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, always on the go! Michelle has been known to start water fights, to tickle the ticklish, to play along with just about any practical joke. We once had her fake going into labor to occupy Paula so we could bring Paula’s surprise party to fruition! One of Michelle’s greatest qualities is that she’s not afraid to share her thoughts and feelings on any subject matter. She sticks up for what she believes in. In that aspect, she keeps us all on our toes.
Jennifer has been referred to as our “Group Mom.” Whenever we take trips, she invariably gets tasked with being the guide (she always knows how to get from here to there and she always has a good idea about what event we should conquer next). She handles all of this with grace and aplomb. When she sees us, Jennifer makes it a point to ‘catch up’ with what is going on in our lives. She listens attentively and caringly. Jennifer is very honest, with herself and with others. That keeps us on our toes! She has a fun sense of humor, and when she lets loose, we are all ensured a good time!
Robin once climbed from the front seat of a moving vehicle into the back seat where I sat crying just to give me a hug. She is nurturing; she lets you know she cares through her actions. Robin helps keep us all young at heart. She’s a go-getter and a planner…she likes to do things just like we do! I don’t think Robin is scared of anything; she’ll try anything at least once. Robin can be quiet; but, don’t let that fool you; she packs a mean punch and a good one-liner…which, if you haven’t guessed by now, keeps us on our toes!
There is a history. There is a bond. We are a self-made family. There have been fights, there have been hurt-feelings, and there have been tears- of laughter, joy, sorrow and pain.
When we get together, it is inevitable that something memorable is going to occur...and I can’t wait for the next get-together!
Here's to girlfriends that I just can't say enough good things about! I miss ya!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Family Dinner Faux Pas
FYI: Faux Pas: A violation of accepted social norms (I 'Googled' it!)
It was time for dessert. There are some picky eaters in my family who will not touch a dessert if it has nuts in it. Works for me, just slide that piece-o-sweet-goodness my way! Oh, yes!
Anyway, we had a family dinner last night. Dessert was unusual in that not all 70 fingers that were present were grabbing and pawing ruthlessly for their sweet treat. This so perplexed one family member for she had provided the ultimate sweet treat, Mini Chocolate Tarts! Let me say that again, Mini Chocolate Tarts! Mmmm boy! This family member was SURE that the Mini Chocolate Tarts would disappear as fast as ice water on a scorching hot day. But, instead, the Mini Chocolate Tarts just sat there, basically untouched. Said family member was perplexed. “Have some tarts, guys,” said family member insisted.
Now, a few family members were generously helping themselves to mass quantities of all the sweet treats that were available, and there were a lot; there was Apple Pie, Cookies n Cream ice cream, Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, Chocolate Sundae Sauce and of course, Mini Chocolate Tarts. The relatives that were digging-in like dessert was going out of style began referring to the decadent Mini Chocolate Tarts as Chocolate Balls.
When no one obliged said family member's urgings to try the Mini Chocolate Tarts, she became confused. Said family member must have concluded that her picky relatives were not eating the Chocolate Balls because they thought there were nuts in them. So, with out even thinking, said family member exclaimed, “THEY’RE NOT NUTTY BALLS!”
The entire table froze...then erupted in laughter.
Have a good day! :)
It was time for dessert. There are some picky eaters in my family who will not touch a dessert if it has nuts in it. Works for me, just slide that piece-o-sweet-goodness my way! Oh, yes!
Anyway, we had a family dinner last night. Dessert was unusual in that not all 70 fingers that were present were grabbing and pawing ruthlessly for their sweet treat. This so perplexed one family member for she had provided the ultimate sweet treat, Mini Chocolate Tarts! Let me say that again, Mini Chocolate Tarts! Mmmm boy! This family member was SURE that the Mini Chocolate Tarts would disappear as fast as ice water on a scorching hot day. But, instead, the Mini Chocolate Tarts just sat there, basically untouched. Said family member was perplexed. “Have some tarts, guys,” said family member insisted.
Now, a few family members were generously helping themselves to mass quantities of all the sweet treats that were available, and there were a lot; there was Apple Pie, Cookies n Cream ice cream, Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, Chocolate Sundae Sauce and of course, Mini Chocolate Tarts. The relatives that were digging-in like dessert was going out of style began referring to the decadent Mini Chocolate Tarts as Chocolate Balls.
When no one obliged said family member's urgings to try the Mini Chocolate Tarts, she became confused. Said family member must have concluded that her picky relatives were not eating the Chocolate Balls because they thought there were nuts in them. So, with out even thinking, said family member exclaimed, “THEY’RE NOT NUTTY BALLS!”
The entire table froze...then erupted in laughter.
Have a good day! :)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Conversation between Husband and Wife
This is a conversation between a husband and a wife during a multi-hour, all encompassing, curtain install.
UGH.
Husband (standing on ladder when a curtain-install mishap occurs…a few hours into curtain-install Heaven…I hope you taste the sarcasm!): SHOOT! Can you get me the Phillips screw driver?
Wife (eager to help and stay calm for her frustrated husband…all she needed was a dress, apron and high heels and she would be perfect!): Is that the flat one?
Husband: No.
Wife (is walking away to get Phillips screw driver): Oh, OK, it’s the star one, where is it?
Husband: On the couch
Wife (comes back into the room): It’s not on the couch.
Husband: It has to be.
Wife: Well, it’s not.
Husband (he actually stops what he is doing): Hmmm…
Wife: Maybe it’s on the kitchen island.
Husband: Yea, check the island.
Wife (comes back into the room with screw driver): It was on the island.
She hands the screw driver to distracted husband.
Wife (not distracted by the curtain-install because all she is doing is a lot of hurry-up-and-wait, starts thinking): What did you say the one I just handed you is called?
Husband (still distracted, up on a ladder, working intently on curtain-install): Phillips
Wife: That makes no sense…it should be called the star one.
Husband snorts.
If women ruled the world!
Curtain-install hit a wall head-on when the first two, not one but two, attempts to hem sheer curtains failed miserably. Husband and wife decided to pay a professional to hem the curtains.
Wife: Dumping curtains off and paying someone to hem them, totally worth it.
Husband: NO KIDDING!
Wife: Can we hire a cook?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Let me introduce you to a part of me that does not exist.
Does that make sense? How can I introduce you to a part of me that doesn't exist? If it doesn't exist, there is nothing to introduce. Ah, but there is; let me explain!
My sister-in-law has been doing her own home re-model. They’re putting up their own dry-wall (don’t ask me what that is or means because even with as many times as it’s been explained to me and shown to me, I still don’t know what dry-wall is or means) adding walls, roofs, rooms, bathrooms, expanding kitchens, changing closets, taking out windows, putting in windows, laying tile…you name it, they’re doing it to their house. They’re also adding an enclosed porch/patio.
They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!
My friend, Jennifer, just bought a house. She and her husband put up chair rails (I hope I have the correct term…again, it’s been said to me many a time but for some reason this brain-o-mine just won’t remember) throughout their whole house. They did all of the measuring, cutting and installing themselves. Their next project will be building their own little courtyard in the privacy area of their front yard.
They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!
As I am writing this, thoughts are flooding my mind of all the other people in my life who are do-it-yourselfers; my step-dad, Paul, who is building his own deck, my friend Paula and her family who laid and grouted all their own tile, installed their own cabinets, etc.
They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!
So, one would naturally venture to think that since I am surrounded by a bunch of do-it-yourselfers that I might be inclined to take on a similar feat.
HA!
Unfortunately, I have absolutely no desire, none, zero, zilch, to be a do-it-yourselfer!
I look at these people and am so utterly perplexed. How do they know how to do that, I wonder? Of course I have asked them. They watch HGTV, get ideas, get books, check out how-to videos, etc. But, still I wonder, how do they know how to do that?!?!?!
I am the girl who could not get a mop-head attached to a mop! I am the girl who, when trying to put together a stool, screwed through the top of the beautiful wooden seat, leaving a nice hole in the middle of it. How do you hide a hole in the middle of a seat? I am the girl who, when trying to move an entertainment center with my friend, Michelle, spilled a candle full of hot red wax all over the carpet and wall...and Dave's new surround sound system! I am the girl who, when decorating for parties, would tire of it after just 10 or 15 minutes and be ready to quit! I am the girl who watches her husband assemble a desk, amazed that he knows how to do that and thinks, “I could never do that?!?!” I am the girl who goes to IKEA and buys sliding panels for the window, and doesn’t buy the things that make them hang from the wall and slide! I am the girl who, albeit tries, cannot follow directions to put stuff together to save her life!
You see, that part of my brain which allows a person to look at something, or watch something, and then understand how to do it…is just not there! The part of the brain that allows one to envision what something will look like (a re-arranged living room, a remodeled kitchen) is hidden behind walls and walls and walls in my brain. (Walls of what, you may wonder. That's a good question, and I do not know the answer! I just know there's a blockage!) It’s such a struggle for me to visualize end results in my head. You know what’s funny, though? I can picture outfits and clothes in my head beautifully! I just can’t picture what a room is going to look like when you add these cabinets, that tile, and those counters! HA!
I have absolutely no desire to be a do-it-yourselfer! Just like I have no desire to be on the TV show, “The Apprentice.” The thought of being a participant on the TV show, "The Apprentice," gives me anxiety to no end! So does the thought of being a do-it-yourselfer! Seriously, fear (honest to goodness real fear) and dread fill that part of my stomach where emotion exists just at the mere thought of even attempting to take on a do-it-yourself project.
That's what great about this world of ours. We have do-it-yourselfers...and then we have people who pay people to be do-it-yourselfers...and that's what makes this world go round...so really, I'm just actively contributing to society by not being a do-it-yourselfer! Ahhh, I can put a positive spin on anything, I tell ya!
Does that make sense? How can I introduce you to a part of me that doesn't exist? If it doesn't exist, there is nothing to introduce. Ah, but there is; let me explain!
My sister-in-law has been doing her own home re-model. They’re putting up their own dry-wall (don’t ask me what that is or means because even with as many times as it’s been explained to me and shown to me, I still don’t know what dry-wall is or means) adding walls, roofs, rooms, bathrooms, expanding kitchens, changing closets, taking out windows, putting in windows, laying tile…you name it, they’re doing it to their house. They’re also adding an enclosed porch/patio.
They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!
My friend, Jennifer, just bought a house. She and her husband put up chair rails (I hope I have the correct term…again, it’s been said to me many a time but for some reason this brain-o-mine just won’t remember) throughout their whole house. They did all of the measuring, cutting and installing themselves. Their next project will be building their own little courtyard in the privacy area of their front yard.
They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!
As I am writing this, thoughts are flooding my mind of all the other people in my life who are do-it-yourselfers; my step-dad, Paul, who is building his own deck, my friend Paula and her family who laid and grouted all their own tile, installed their own cabinets, etc.
They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!
So, one would naturally venture to think that since I am surrounded by a bunch of do-it-yourselfers that I might be inclined to take on a similar feat.
HA!
Unfortunately, I have absolutely no desire, none, zero, zilch, to be a do-it-yourselfer!
I look at these people and am so utterly perplexed. How do they know how to do that, I wonder? Of course I have asked them. They watch HGTV, get ideas, get books, check out how-to videos, etc. But, still I wonder, how do they know how to do that?!?!?!
I am the girl who could not get a mop-head attached to a mop! I am the girl who, when trying to put together a stool, screwed through the top of the beautiful wooden seat, leaving a nice hole in the middle of it. How do you hide a hole in the middle of a seat? I am the girl who, when trying to move an entertainment center with my friend, Michelle, spilled a candle full of hot red wax all over the carpet and wall...and Dave's new surround sound system! I am the girl who, when decorating for parties, would tire of it after just 10 or 15 minutes and be ready to quit! I am the girl who watches her husband assemble a desk, amazed that he knows how to do that and thinks, “I could never do that?!?!” I am the girl who goes to IKEA and buys sliding panels for the window, and doesn’t buy the things that make them hang from the wall and slide! I am the girl who, albeit tries, cannot follow directions to put stuff together to save her life!
You see, that part of my brain which allows a person to look at something, or watch something, and then understand how to do it…is just not there! The part of the brain that allows one to envision what something will look like (a re-arranged living room, a remodeled kitchen) is hidden behind walls and walls and walls in my brain. (Walls of what, you may wonder. That's a good question, and I do not know the answer! I just know there's a blockage!) It’s such a struggle for me to visualize end results in my head. You know what’s funny, though? I can picture outfits and clothes in my head beautifully! I just can’t picture what a room is going to look like when you add these cabinets, that tile, and those counters! HA!
I have absolutely no desire to be a do-it-yourselfer! Just like I have no desire to be on the TV show, “The Apprentice.” The thought of being a participant on the TV show, "The Apprentice," gives me anxiety to no end! So does the thought of being a do-it-yourselfer! Seriously, fear (honest to goodness real fear) and dread fill that part of my stomach where emotion exists just at the mere thought of even attempting to take on a do-it-yourself project.
That's what great about this world of ours. We have do-it-yourselfers...and then we have people who pay people to be do-it-yourselfers...and that's what makes this world go round...so really, I'm just actively contributing to society by not being a do-it-yourselfer! Ahhh, I can put a positive spin on anything, I tell ya!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
All My Canine Children
Frisco making love to the camera
Isn't he precious?!?! (above)
Angel
She's pretty photogenic...too bad she's got a mind of her own! My friend, Jennifer came over the other day and I felt like I was hollering at Angel the whole time! "OFF!" "WRONG!" "LAY DOWN!" "BACK UP!" GO ON!" Do ya think she listened to me? Not once! She totally ignored all of my commands! Angel seriously makes me doubt my ability to be a mother if and when that should ever occur. What frustrates me the most is that Dave will walk into the room, give one command, and the dog listens! She obeys immediately! Maybe I need to have my voice changed!
Here she is being relflective and serious
She looks so wise. (above)Food is the secret to getting pictures of dogs...at least for me it is!
Duke is wondering if he stares at me long enough will he get a piece of popcorn???
Duke pouting.
And, that's our canine family.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
IKEA!
When my mom and I first moved to California we would take epic day trips to Sacramento. Mom and Grandma would shop til they dropped, scoping out the best deals in town and papa would entertain me. When I was younger, that was easy; he just took me to the nearest Chucky Cheese. When I got older, I divided my time between shopping with the girls and getting ice cream with the Papa! As school and work got busier, our trips to Sac town lessened…but, with great gusto and ambition, we decided to conquer the great store of IKEA last weekend…and, I’ll buy anyone an ice cream cone if they can guess the correct amount of time that we spent in IKEA…the amount of time that we spent in one single solitary store. All I can say is, thank goodness IKEA has a food shop!
My mission: CURTAINS
My victim: Grandma
My poor Grandma. I don’t know how she gets stuck with me! There is a running joke in my family that Missy can get a lil cranky when she gets a lil hungry. By a lil cranky I mean a lil cranky like The Hulk gets a lil angry…just a lil bit.
Everyone thought we were in good shape. We toured the second floor of IKEA. By the way, the 2nd floor of IKEA is where everything in my mind clicked and HGTV synapses and connections fired in my brain all at once like a…like a…like a sonic decorating boom going off in my head! The 2nd floor of IKEA is where I discovered that all of my HGTV watching paid off. So much sonic booming was going on in my head that it hurt, folks! So, anyways, we thought we were in good shape because we all had full bellies. After what felt like half a day spent on the 2nd floor of IKEA, we finally made our way down to the first floor. The place where dreams come true and decorating magic is brought to life.
I got pillow covers.
I got pillows.
I got more pillow covers.
I made my way to the curtains.
I got some curtains that I fell in love with on the 2nd floor of IKEA. (Decorating dreams do come true, folks!)
Then, I started “MISSION: BEDROOM CURTAINS.”
I don’t know at what point I enlisted my Grandma’s help.
I don’t know at what point I realized that IKEA was not as magical as I thought and that curtains that I liked were not going to magically appear right before my eyes.
I do know that at some point I became quite stressed. (OK, so maybe I still have some things to learn from HGTV!)
I also know that I became even more stressed when I realized that everyone was finished walking through the whole entire store except for me…and my grandma who got stuck with me!
Frustrated, and after hours of looking for curtains that did not exist, I gave up and moved on, leaving the store with out the curtains I originally set out to buy.
So, lessons learned:
Don’t try to buy bedroom curtains when you don’t have a comforter for your bed…buy the comforter first.
Always make a return trip to IKEA after you’ve shown your husband everything you bought so you can go back and buy everything you didn’t buy that is required to assemble everything you did buy! Kapeesh? Kapeesh!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Misc. Pics.
This is what was left of our reindeer after evil, bad, fat, ugly, scrooge-elves messed with our Christmas yard decor...if you look closely enough, you can see a faint tear drop rolling down poor Dave's cheek:
He's sorely mistaken...or is he?!?!
Poor Reindeer
The most beautiful and brightest perfectly arch shaped rainbow recently shone above our house:
Dave recently had a Birthday where he danced the night away!
YES! That is what I call, "dancing!" Others may call it, "air surfing...with a wingman!"
Duke thinks that he's a lap dog.
He's sorely mistaken...or is he?!?!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Things I Learned...this Weekend!
1. I learned that if I head-bang to music and dance all night, moving the next day will be difficult, very, very difficult, and painful, very, very painful!
2. I learned how to put all of the vacuum attachments together so that I could vacuum the couch! HA!
3. I learned that the, “easy,” setting, on my new digital camera that has abilities far superior to my own, is my new best friend!
4. I learned that I could easily trade eating desserts with spending money and buying treasures! No, not really, I take that back.
5. I learned that I can clean with out getting grumpy. I learned this once I vacuumed the tile in the kitchen, to pick up the pet hair that the broom and dust pan would not get. The more hair I swept up, the more hair that appeared! It was unnerving me, taking me down a road I rather not go…a road that would lead to a major temper-tantrum! I thought the world was playing a cruel trick on me, throwing hair on the tile as soon as I turned my back…I just kept sweeping and sweeping and the hair just kept coming and coming! I cursed the blasted tile! I spit on it, “Hack-puh!” Then, I ran the vacuum over the tile and all the hair disappeared with out a trace! I was a happy, happy soul again!
6. I learned that Dave and I need to get off our arse, hang pictures in our house and put out our treasures, AKA decorate, because showing people around a bare house and then having to explain that we’ve lived there for 7 months…and still nothing is decorated and there are piles of boxes in my office and in the guest room and in the garage…is a tad embarrassing!
7. I learned that having our friend’s Corvette in our garage is a nice distraction from all of the boxes in the garage!
8. I learned how to step into the modern day and use modern day hair ties and clips in my hair instead of scrunchies from1980s! (Probably my biggest feat this weekend!)
9. I learned that this January, when I was home sick and Dave was out of work, was one of the best months of my life, even in the midst of trying to control my asthma and Dave not working, and that I’ll probably never have a month like that again.
10. And, because I can’t top #9, there will be no #10 even though this sentence appears after #10 it’s not really #10…OK? Just had to throw that in there.
2. I learned how to put all of the vacuum attachments together so that I could vacuum the couch! HA!
3. I learned that the, “easy,” setting, on my new digital camera that has abilities far superior to my own, is my new best friend!
4. I learned that I could easily trade eating desserts with spending money and buying treasures! No, not really, I take that back.
5. I learned that I can clean with out getting grumpy. I learned this once I vacuumed the tile in the kitchen, to pick up the pet hair that the broom and dust pan would not get. The more hair I swept up, the more hair that appeared! It was unnerving me, taking me down a road I rather not go…a road that would lead to a major temper-tantrum! I thought the world was playing a cruel trick on me, throwing hair on the tile as soon as I turned my back…I just kept sweeping and sweeping and the hair just kept coming and coming! I cursed the blasted tile! I spit on it, “Hack-puh!” Then, I ran the vacuum over the tile and all the hair disappeared with out a trace! I was a happy, happy soul again!
6. I learned that Dave and I need to get off our arse, hang pictures in our house and put out our treasures, AKA decorate, because showing people around a bare house and then having to explain that we’ve lived there for 7 months…and still nothing is decorated and there are piles of boxes in my office and in the guest room and in the garage…is a tad embarrassing!
7. I learned that having our friend’s Corvette in our garage is a nice distraction from all of the boxes in the garage!
8. I learned how to step into the modern day and use modern day hair ties and clips in my hair instead of scrunchies from1980s! (Probably my biggest feat this weekend!)
9. I learned that this January, when I was home sick and Dave was out of work, was one of the best months of my life, even in the midst of trying to control my asthma and Dave not working, and that I’ll probably never have a month like that again.
10. And, because I can’t top #9, there will be no #10 even though this sentence appears after #10 it’s not really #10…OK? Just had to throw that in there.
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Thrill of Spending Money
When Dave was not working, we put our debit and credit cards in a bucket of water and put the bucket in the freezer. We froze our spending!
Well, my hard working hubby is back at work, which means our house is a mess again and my “honey-do,” list has taken a back seat.
My pride and joy desk that I scored for $65 (SIXTY FIVE DOLLARS ON SALE…WHOOP-WHOOP!) is still sitting in a million pieces on the floor of my office. Someone actually had the nerve, the gall, to suggest that I put the desk together myself! Ha! “Pish-posh, rubbish” I said!
The last time that I attempted to put something together by myself it did not go so well!
Dave and I used to live in a small, tiny duplex that had an even smaller, tinier bathroom, which meant that the shower wasn’t much bigger than a bread box! Imagine trying to shave your legs in a shower that size! You have to be a contortionist! So, somehow, online, I found stools that were especially designed for showers. Imagine the thrill I felt at knowing such a contraption existed, which could possibly prevent me from having to do stretches and warm-ups before attempting to contort my body in all of these impossible ways just to have smooth legs! I even found stylish stools, made of teak that were like nice little shower seats (as opposed to hospital-style ones made for, you know, hospitals). My Birthday was approaching so I hinted to my Mom about these stools. Who knew that a hint as subtle as an email with a link to the right website would result in me actually getting one for my Birthday!
So, one sunny morning when I was home alone I decided to be independent and put the stool together myself. After minutes of organizing all of the pieces, losing half of them, becoming convinced that my stool did not come with all of the required pieces and then finding the pieces that I lost, the pieces that I didn’t think the stool came with (what, doesn’t that happen to you?), I began screwing stuff together. *I use the term, “stuff,” very loosely, so as not to confuse you with all of the technical lingo, I like to keep things in laymen’s terms so everyone understands what I mean… you’re welcome! I’m kidding; I had no idea what the stuff was called that I was screwing together!
Anyways, when I began screwing something into the bottom of the seat, it met a little bit of resistance. With crinkled eyebrows, I continued trying to screw the contraption together; but, it didn’t feel right. This, in all reality, should have been my first clue to stop what I was doing, turn the contraption over and see what was going on. Instead, I just looked at the directions again to make sure I was doing what the directions stated; it appeared I was, so I tried to screw the screw again. Something just wasn’t right! This time, I turned over my new teak seat to see what was happening.
Do you want to know what I saw? I saw the screw, sticking straight up through my new teak seat! I had screwed the stupid screw right through the top of the seat! Now, there was a nice hole and crack in my new seat. The new teak seat that was supposed to solve my leg shaving problems!
GRRR!
Disgusted with the whole assembly thing, I threw everything aside, leaving it for my wonderfully crafted, handy-man husband to assemble.
So, my new desk that is in a million pieces on the office floor is sitting there and waiting. Not waiting for me, though, because as sure as the sky is blue, that desk will fight me…so it will continue to sit there, in a million pieces, and wait…wait for my wonderfully crafted, handy-man husband to assemble the wooden mess with out causing death and destruction like I am prone to do!
Well, my hard working hubby is back at work, which means our house is a mess again and my “honey-do,” list has taken a back seat.
My pride and joy desk that I scored for $65 (SIXTY FIVE DOLLARS ON SALE…WHOOP-WHOOP!) is still sitting in a million pieces on the floor of my office. Someone actually had the nerve, the gall, to suggest that I put the desk together myself! Ha! “Pish-posh, rubbish” I said!
The last time that I attempted to put something together by myself it did not go so well!
Dave and I used to live in a small, tiny duplex that had an even smaller, tinier bathroom, which meant that the shower wasn’t much bigger than a bread box! Imagine trying to shave your legs in a shower that size! You have to be a contortionist! So, somehow, online, I found stools that were especially designed for showers. Imagine the thrill I felt at knowing such a contraption existed, which could possibly prevent me from having to do stretches and warm-ups before attempting to contort my body in all of these impossible ways just to have smooth legs! I even found stylish stools, made of teak that were like nice little shower seats (as opposed to hospital-style ones made for, you know, hospitals). My Birthday was approaching so I hinted to my Mom about these stools. Who knew that a hint as subtle as an email with a link to the right website would result in me actually getting one for my Birthday!
So, one sunny morning when I was home alone I decided to be independent and put the stool together myself. After minutes of organizing all of the pieces, losing half of them, becoming convinced that my stool did not come with all of the required pieces and then finding the pieces that I lost, the pieces that I didn’t think the stool came with (what, doesn’t that happen to you?), I began screwing stuff together. *I use the term, “stuff,” very loosely, so as not to confuse you with all of the technical lingo, I like to keep things in laymen’s terms so everyone understands what I mean… you’re welcome! I’m kidding; I had no idea what the stuff was called that I was screwing together!
Anyways, when I began screwing something into the bottom of the seat, it met a little bit of resistance. With crinkled eyebrows, I continued trying to screw the contraption together; but, it didn’t feel right. This, in all reality, should have been my first clue to stop what I was doing, turn the contraption over and see what was going on. Instead, I just looked at the directions again to make sure I was doing what the directions stated; it appeared I was, so I tried to screw the screw again. Something just wasn’t right! This time, I turned over my new teak seat to see what was happening.
Do you want to know what I saw? I saw the screw, sticking straight up through my new teak seat! I had screwed the stupid screw right through the top of the seat! Now, there was a nice hole and crack in my new seat. The new teak seat that was supposed to solve my leg shaving problems!
GRRR!
Disgusted with the whole assembly thing, I threw everything aside, leaving it for my wonderfully crafted, handy-man husband to assemble.
So, my new desk that is in a million pieces on the office floor is sitting there and waiting. Not waiting for me, though, because as sure as the sky is blue, that desk will fight me…so it will continue to sit there, in a million pieces, and wait…wait for my wonderfully crafted, handy-man husband to assemble the wooden mess with out causing death and destruction like I am prone to do!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I've got another Confession to make...
I broke a tradition; well, actually, I did not break the tradition, the man that I live with, who will remain nameless, broke this tradition. It’s a big one folks and I can only hope that the victim of this broken tradition can forgive me!
You see, every year, Resees makes a miniature peanut butter egg, covered in a hard chocolate shell, and they only come out once a year during Easter. One year, my little roommate, Jennifer, and I discovered these delightfully delicious creations…and we ate the entire bag…in one night…in an hour…OK, it was half an hour!
WHAT?!?! They’re just like M&Ms! You can’t tell me you’ve never eaten an entire bag of M&Ms! Stop the judging!
Then, after that one delicious Easter, the Resees eggs disappeared, much to our horror, never to be seen again!
We were so sad…so velly, velly sad.
Then, one Easter, a few years later, the Resees eggs reappeared!
JOY TO THE WORLD!
I quickly bought a bag and gave it to Jennifer, which would be the start of the tradition.
This year, I bought two bags of the tasty treat; one, to take to my Mom’s on Easter and the other one being for Jennifer.
Herein lies the problem…I live with someone who loves this Easter creation almost as much as my little roommate, Jennifer does and this man…er, mouse, had heartbroken taste buds when we left my Mom’s house on Easter with out any of the Reeses candies that we had arrived with. This mouse, who inhabits my dwelling, early Monday morning, unbeknown st to me, opened and munched on the Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs… that were for Jennifer!
OH FOR SHAME!
I need to say it again.
OH FOR SHAME!
I noticed this as soon as I went home for lunch; so I immediately rushed to Wal-Mart to purchase another bag but…but…but, Wal-Mart was out of them! “HOW CAN THIS BEEEE,” I screamed! “NOOOOOO,” I moaned, as I dropped to my knees in the middle of the Easter Clearance aisle, all of my hopes and dreams of fulfilling the tradition gone, vanished! I was surrounded by vicious and malicious bargain hunters who didn’t care one bit about the trauma that was unfolding right in front of them. They only cared about purchasing left over Easter paraphernalia at a discounted price…it was almost as bad as the day after Thanksgiving, the pushing, shoving, shouting, crying. Pitiful folks, it was pitiful!
As I started to stand up again, I whimpered softly to myself, “I would have paid full price…sniff, sniff…I would have paid full price…”
Maybe someday I will explore why all of my holidays have a commercial candy associated with them…CELEBRATE DOES NOT MEAN FOOD, MISSY! Bah-humbug!
You see, every year, Resees makes a miniature peanut butter egg, covered in a hard chocolate shell, and they only come out once a year during Easter. One year, my little roommate, Jennifer, and I discovered these delightfully delicious creations…and we ate the entire bag…in one night…in an hour…OK, it was half an hour!
WHAT?!?! They’re just like M&Ms! You can’t tell me you’ve never eaten an entire bag of M&Ms! Stop the judging!
Then, after that one delicious Easter, the Resees eggs disappeared, much to our horror, never to be seen again!
We were so sad…so velly, velly sad.
Then, one Easter, a few years later, the Resees eggs reappeared!
JOY TO THE WORLD!
I quickly bought a bag and gave it to Jennifer, which would be the start of the tradition.
This year, I bought two bags of the tasty treat; one, to take to my Mom’s on Easter and the other one being for Jennifer.
Herein lies the problem…I live with someone who loves this Easter creation almost as much as my little roommate, Jennifer does and this man…er, mouse, had heartbroken taste buds when we left my Mom’s house on Easter with out any of the Reeses candies that we had arrived with. This mouse, who inhabits my dwelling, early Monday morning, unbeknown st to me, opened and munched on the Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs… that were for Jennifer!
OH FOR SHAME!
I need to say it again.
OH FOR SHAME!
I noticed this as soon as I went home for lunch; so I immediately rushed to Wal-Mart to purchase another bag but…but…but, Wal-Mart was out of them! “HOW CAN THIS BEEEE,” I screamed! “NOOOOOO,” I moaned, as I dropped to my knees in the middle of the Easter Clearance aisle, all of my hopes and dreams of fulfilling the tradition gone, vanished! I was surrounded by vicious and malicious bargain hunters who didn’t care one bit about the trauma that was unfolding right in front of them. They only cared about purchasing left over Easter paraphernalia at a discounted price…it was almost as bad as the day after Thanksgiving, the pushing, shoving, shouting, crying. Pitiful folks, it was pitiful!
As I started to stand up again, I whimpered softly to myself, “I would have paid full price…sniff, sniff…I would have paid full price…”
Maybe someday I will explore why all of my holidays have a commercial candy associated with them…CELEBRATE DOES NOT MEAN FOOD, MISSY! Bah-humbug!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Hmmm...A Glimpse Inside My Head
How does love turn to hate? At one point, most couples profess their love to each other. At some point, both people usually mean it. So, when that lovely relationship ends, what makes the love turn to hate?
If you read or watch the news, you can’t help but see a story on Kate and/or Jon every now and again. We all know they’re divorced. But, now, it seems they have total spite towards each other. This made me wonder:
How does a couple get from love to spite?
Can you not have love with out hate? Is it an emotion that goes hand-in-hand? Sure, I love Dave and I am happy with our relationship, I would even venture to say we have a good relationship and Dave would too; and sure, he has behaviors that I could say I hate…who doesn’t? But, that doesn’t mean I hate him.
Hmmm…
It just makes me wonder.
When people are in relationships and both report being happy, you can’t help but wonder how one gets from happy to unhappy.
I don’t buy that it is because of a breakdown in communication. I guess I buy the idea that it is a multitude of factors that can end a relationship (lack of communication + lots of stress with no relief + differing thoughts/values/opinions…etc).
It still doesn’t answer my question, thou. How does a couple go from love to hate? Is it because we can’t handle failure so we lash out, blaming the other for the failure of the relationship. In most articles that I’ve read people who are content with their divorce and accept part of the blame do not seem to hate their ex.
Hmmm…
Or, is it the pain? The pain of losing a loved one causes, or leads to, the hate? Anger is a mask for pain. That’s right! This makes sense to me now.
So, my answer to the question; how does love turn to hate, would be, it’s because of the pain. The pain and hurt people feel for losing a person, an entity (the relationship) that they might have enjoyed...someone took that away from them against their will. Children get mad when you take their toys away from them. Why wouldn’t adults get mad when something they enjoy is taken away from them? Anger is a mask for pain. Hate, and being spiteful, might actually be a simpler emotion to handle, rather than dealing with the lonely, gut wrenching, pain of losing a relationship, companionship that you never wanted to be rid of in the first place.
I just love it when I can answer my own questions!
If you read or watch the news, you can’t help but see a story on Kate and/or Jon every now and again. We all know they’re divorced. But, now, it seems they have total spite towards each other. This made me wonder:
How does a couple get from love to spite?
Can you not have love with out hate? Is it an emotion that goes hand-in-hand? Sure, I love Dave and I am happy with our relationship, I would even venture to say we have a good relationship and Dave would too; and sure, he has behaviors that I could say I hate…who doesn’t? But, that doesn’t mean I hate him.
Hmmm…
It just makes me wonder.
When people are in relationships and both report being happy, you can’t help but wonder how one gets from happy to unhappy.
I don’t buy that it is because of a breakdown in communication. I guess I buy the idea that it is a multitude of factors that can end a relationship (lack of communication + lots of stress with no relief + differing thoughts/values/opinions…etc).
It still doesn’t answer my question, thou. How does a couple go from love to hate? Is it because we can’t handle failure so we lash out, blaming the other for the failure of the relationship. In most articles that I’ve read people who are content with their divorce and accept part of the blame do not seem to hate their ex.
Hmmm…
Or, is it the pain? The pain of losing a loved one causes, or leads to, the hate? Anger is a mask for pain. That’s right! This makes sense to me now.
So, my answer to the question; how does love turn to hate, would be, it’s because of the pain. The pain and hurt people feel for losing a person, an entity (the relationship) that they might have enjoyed...someone took that away from them against their will. Children get mad when you take their toys away from them. Why wouldn’t adults get mad when something they enjoy is taken away from them? Anger is a mask for pain. Hate, and being spiteful, might actually be a simpler emotion to handle, rather than dealing with the lonely, gut wrenching, pain of losing a relationship, companionship that you never wanted to be rid of in the first place.
I just love it when I can answer my own questions!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
It was a calm and sunny morning. The dew on the bright green grass of the lawns shimmered and shone like they had been saving it up all winter, sprinkling the neighborhood with a glistening that had been missing lately. It was as if the lawns had simultaneously decided to display their pride and joy and bestow this beauty, this treasure as a declaration that yes, sunny days are here again. The trees in the neighborhood allowed for beautiful sunbeams to infuse the lawns and gardens, creating a colorful display of lights in both front and back yards on this fresh sunny morning.
The bright sun lit up the insides of the houses, leaving no need to turn on any of the indoor lights. People awoke; feeling well rested…what a difference! With the sun peeking through the windows, who could resist feeling well rested and…and…and content? Yes, content!
The smell of coffee soon began to permeate this calm and peaceful morning. Ahhh, sunshine and coffee…who could ask for anything more?!
And, for this beautiful, brief moment in time, all forgot that such a thing as trouble existed in this world.
The bright sun lit up the insides of the houses, leaving no need to turn on any of the indoor lights. People awoke; feeling well rested…what a difference! With the sun peeking through the windows, who could resist feeling well rested and…and…and content? Yes, content!
The smell of coffee soon began to permeate this calm and peaceful morning. Ahhh, sunshine and coffee…who could ask for anything more?!
And, for this beautiful, brief moment in time, all forgot that such a thing as trouble existed in this world.
Monday, April 5, 2010
I Forgot the Green Beans!
On Easter Sunday, the one dish that I said I would bring was a Green Bean Casserole…the Green Bean Casserole that I brought to Thanksgiving dinner…the Green Bean Casserole that went over like hot fudge on a sundae…the Green Bean Casserole that I totally, 100% did not bring…the Green Bean Casserole that I did not even make!
OH FOR SHAME!
On Thanksgiving, Missy’s culinary skills blew everyone outta the water! I could read their minds, they were thinking,”Maybe we’re wrong about Missy being a disaster in the kitchen, that girl can make one MEAN green bean casserole!” (Courtesy of Paula, who graciously escorted me through the grocery section of Wal-Mart one year, hand picking the ingredients that I would need.) Lucky for me, the instructions to making the green bean casserole are graciously printed on the box of fried onion thingamajiggies that make the casserole so yummy. Also lucky for me, I included the 1/8 of a teaspoon of pepper that the recipe called for. I thought, “What the heck does 1/8th of a teaspoon of pepper do?”, and I contemplated leaving it out all together. Thankfully, I did not; as I was informed at Thanksgiving by the culinary masters in my family that 1/8th of a teaspoon of pepper is actually velly, velly important!
So, apparently, at some time, I volunteered myself to bring said dish to our Easter dinner. The thought must have left my mind as soon as the volunteer left my mouth. And, it beguiles me as to how my whole freaking family, all 15 of them that were there, KNEW that I was supposed to bring the green bean casserole when I didn’t even know! I know that all 17 of us did not have a sit-down pre-Easter meeting, deciding who would be bringing what…so, being the great detective that I am; I deduced that someone, one of my family members, ratted me out!
I will have you know, though, I did bring a lot of Easter candy for the adults to munch on, as they are too old to receive Easter Baskets from the Easter Bunny! I brought two different assortments of Jelly Beans, chocolate candy, carrot cake cookies, and a delicious strawberry cheesecake for Dave’s birthday…and not one family member was complaining about there not being any green beans as they were shoving junk food down their throats!
Isn’t that more the issue here, folks? My family has a problem. A junk food problem. It’s a serious problem. So serious, in fact, that in an effort to deflect from their addictive tendencies, they sold me out, pretending to be distressed that there were no green beans included in our feast.
What made it all better? How was I able to get through Easter with everyone glaring at me, sending daggers my way, even resorting to picking on my genius football, yes, genius, football knowledge?
Through alcohol consumption…lots and lots of alcohol consumption! Let’s be honest, how can you have a family gathering without it? Shoot, my family even debates whether or not we can have alcohol at our little family bible studies…before you scoff, I’ll have you know, families that pray together, stay together, whether there’s alcohol or not!
Lucky for us, we have a bartender in the family! Every family needs one of those and my family luckily enough actually has a few! Hmmm…I wonder if that’s why we all like each other so much. Nah! So, my bartender brother was there, keeping the drinks flowing as fast as the smack-talking was smacking.
And that, folks, was my very happy and fun Easter/Dave’s Birthday!
OH FOR SHAME!
On Thanksgiving, Missy’s culinary skills blew everyone outta the water! I could read their minds, they were thinking,”Maybe we’re wrong about Missy being a disaster in the kitchen, that girl can make one MEAN green bean casserole!” (Courtesy of Paula, who graciously escorted me through the grocery section of Wal-Mart one year, hand picking the ingredients that I would need.) Lucky for me, the instructions to making the green bean casserole are graciously printed on the box of fried onion thingamajiggies that make the casserole so yummy. Also lucky for me, I included the 1/8 of a teaspoon of pepper that the recipe called for. I thought, “What the heck does 1/8th of a teaspoon of pepper do?”, and I contemplated leaving it out all together. Thankfully, I did not; as I was informed at Thanksgiving by the culinary masters in my family that 1/8th of a teaspoon of pepper is actually velly, velly important!
So, apparently, at some time, I volunteered myself to bring said dish to our Easter dinner. The thought must have left my mind as soon as the volunteer left my mouth. And, it beguiles me as to how my whole freaking family, all 15 of them that were there, KNEW that I was supposed to bring the green bean casserole when I didn’t even know! I know that all 17 of us did not have a sit-down pre-Easter meeting, deciding who would be bringing what…so, being the great detective that I am; I deduced that someone, one of my family members, ratted me out!
I will have you know, though, I did bring a lot of Easter candy for the adults to munch on, as they are too old to receive Easter Baskets from the Easter Bunny! I brought two different assortments of Jelly Beans, chocolate candy, carrot cake cookies, and a delicious strawberry cheesecake for Dave’s birthday…and not one family member was complaining about there not being any green beans as they were shoving junk food down their throats!
Isn’t that more the issue here, folks? My family has a problem. A junk food problem. It’s a serious problem. So serious, in fact, that in an effort to deflect from their addictive tendencies, they sold me out, pretending to be distressed that there were no green beans included in our feast.
What made it all better? How was I able to get through Easter with everyone glaring at me, sending daggers my way, even resorting to picking on my genius football, yes, genius, football knowledge?
Through alcohol consumption…lots and lots of alcohol consumption! Let’s be honest, how can you have a family gathering without it? Shoot, my family even debates whether or not we can have alcohol at our little family bible studies…before you scoff, I’ll have you know, families that pray together, stay together, whether there’s alcohol or not!
Lucky for us, we have a bartender in the family! Every family needs one of those and my family luckily enough actually has a few! Hmmm…I wonder if that’s why we all like each other so much. Nah! So, my bartender brother was there, keeping the drinks flowing as fast as the smack-talking was smacking.
And that, folks, was my very happy and fun Easter/Dave’s Birthday!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
April Fools Day!
It was a sunny Hawaiian morning. The house was rustling with the sounds of a family getting ready for the day ahead of them. A little girl woke up with sleepies in her eyes, got out of bed, brushed her hair, put on her school uniform which consisted of khaki shorts and a navy blue polo shirt. As the blonde haired, blue eyed tween started styling her hair, the home phone rang interrupting the quietness that engulfs a house when people are in the throws of waking up and getting ready to take on the day. Wondering who could be calling, but figuring it would be her dad who was already at work, the young lady answered the phone.
“Shaws, Missy Shaw speaking,” the words ran together like it was one, big, long word because Missy had been speaking that phrase since she was bestowed the honor of being able to answer the home phone. Of course, being the imaginative and creative child that she was, when Missy was ill with the chicken pox, she would answer the home telephone saying, “Shaws, chicken pox Missy speaking”!
What Missy heard on the other end of the line on that sunny week day morning was a nice lady’s voice. “Hi Missy, this is the school secretary at Holy Family Catholic School, I am calling to let you know that a water line broke at the school and the school is flooded; so, school is cancelled for today!”
With the excitement that a child normally only feels on Christmas morning as they run out to the living room to see if the present of their dreams is proudly displayed, bright and shining, under the Christmas tree, Missy exclaimed, “OK! Thank you so much!” and with that, she hung up the phone. She couldn't believe this good news!
Running as fast as she could down the hallway to the kitchen where her mom was dutifully preparing lunch and breakfast, Missy excitedly told her mom the good news.
Mom was skeptical, though.
“What did she have to be skeptical about,” Missy wondered just as the phone started ringing again.
Missy ran to the phone and answered it again. This time it was her Grandma calling from California. “Oh, hi, Grandma!,” Missy said into the receiver, thinking what a great morning this was, finding out that school had been cancelled AND getting a phone call from her Grandma.
Her Grandma asked her, “Did you get a phone call from your school secretary telling you school was cancelled?”
This totally perplexed Missy. How did she know that, Missy wondered, she lives an ocean away from us! Did it make the news, Missy wondered! “Yea,” Missy answered slowly, "How did you know?"
“APRIL FOOLS!” said the Grandmother into the phone.
“WHAT? WHAT?! NO WAY!” Missy exclaimed! She only heard the ringing of her Grandma’s laughter on the other end of the phone. “Sorry Sweetie, school isn’t really cancelled, that was me who called you earlier” her Grandma stated apologetically. “Ahhh, man!” Missy replied, deflated of all the excitement she felt earlier, looking at her mom who was standing before her, laughing at the practical joke that had just been successfully pulled off!
That, my friends, is the best April Fools Day joke that has ever been played on me. Grandma has never even tried to top that one!
“Shaws, Missy Shaw speaking,” the words ran together like it was one, big, long word because Missy had been speaking that phrase since she was bestowed the honor of being able to answer the home phone. Of course, being the imaginative and creative child that she was, when Missy was ill with the chicken pox, she would answer the home telephone saying, “Shaws, chicken pox Missy speaking”!
What Missy heard on the other end of the line on that sunny week day morning was a nice lady’s voice. “Hi Missy, this is the school secretary at Holy Family Catholic School, I am calling to let you know that a water line broke at the school and the school is flooded; so, school is cancelled for today!”
With the excitement that a child normally only feels on Christmas morning as they run out to the living room to see if the present of their dreams is proudly displayed, bright and shining, under the Christmas tree, Missy exclaimed, “OK! Thank you so much!” and with that, she hung up the phone. She couldn't believe this good news!
Running as fast as she could down the hallway to the kitchen where her mom was dutifully preparing lunch and breakfast, Missy excitedly told her mom the good news.
Mom was skeptical, though.
“What did she have to be skeptical about,” Missy wondered just as the phone started ringing again.
Missy ran to the phone and answered it again. This time it was her Grandma calling from California. “Oh, hi, Grandma!,” Missy said into the receiver, thinking what a great morning this was, finding out that school had been cancelled AND getting a phone call from her Grandma.
Her Grandma asked her, “Did you get a phone call from your school secretary telling you school was cancelled?”
This totally perplexed Missy. How did she know that, Missy wondered, she lives an ocean away from us! Did it make the news, Missy wondered! “Yea,” Missy answered slowly, "How did you know?"
“APRIL FOOLS!” said the Grandmother into the phone.
“WHAT? WHAT?! NO WAY!” Missy exclaimed! She only heard the ringing of her Grandma’s laughter on the other end of the phone. “Sorry Sweetie, school isn’t really cancelled, that was me who called you earlier” her Grandma stated apologetically. “Ahhh, man!” Missy replied, deflated of all the excitement she felt earlier, looking at her mom who was standing before her, laughing at the practical joke that had just been successfully pulled off!
That, my friends, is the best April Fools Day joke that has ever been played on me. Grandma has never even tried to top that one!
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