Let me introduce you to a part of me that does not exist.

Does that make sense? How can I introduce you to a part of me that doesn't exist? If it doesn't exist, there is nothing to introduce. Ah, but there is; let me explain!

My sister-in-law has been doing her own home re-model. They’re putting up their own dry-wall (don’t ask me what that is or means because even with as many times as it’s been explained to me and shown to me, I still don’t know what dry-wall is or means) adding walls, roofs, rooms, bathrooms, expanding kitchens, changing closets, taking out windows, putting in windows, laying tile…you name it, they’re doing it to their house. They’re also adding an enclosed porch/patio.

They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!

My friend, Jennifer, just bought a house. She and her husband put up chair rails (I hope I have the correct term…again, it’s been said to me many a time but for some reason this brain-o-mine just won’t remember) throughout their whole house. They did all of the measuring, cutting and installing themselves. Their next project will be building their own little courtyard in the privacy area of their front yard.

They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!

As I am writing this, thoughts are flooding my mind of all the other people in my life who are do-it-yourselfers; my step-dad, Paul, who is building his own deck, my friend Paula and her family who laid and grouted all their own tile, installed their own cabinets, etc.

They would make HGTV and the DIY Network very proud!

So, one would naturally venture to think that since I am surrounded by a bunch of do-it-yourselfers that I might be inclined to take on a similar feat.

HA!

Unfortunately, I have absolutely no desire, none, zero, zilch, to be a do-it-yourselfer!
I look at these people and am so utterly perplexed. How do they know how to do that, I wonder? Of course I have asked them. They watch HGTV, get ideas, get books, check out how-to videos, etc. But, still I wonder, how do they know how to do that?!?!?!

I am the girl who could not get a mop-head attached to a mop! I am the girl who, when trying to put together a stool, screwed through the top of the beautiful wooden seat, leaving a nice hole in the middle of it. How do you hide a hole in the middle of a seat? I am the girl who, when trying to move an entertainment center with my friend, Michelle, spilled a candle full of hot red wax all over the carpet and wall...and Dave's new surround sound system! I am the girl who, when decorating for parties, would tire of it after just 10 or 15 minutes and be ready to quit! I am the girl who watches her husband assemble a desk, amazed that he knows how to do that and thinks, “I could never do that?!?!” I am the girl who goes to IKEA and buys sliding panels for the window, and doesn’t buy the things that make them hang from the wall and slide! I am the girl who, albeit tries, cannot follow directions to put stuff together to save her life!

You see, that part of my brain which allows a person to look at something, or watch something, and then understand how to do it…is just not there! The part of the brain that allows one to envision what something will look like (a re-arranged living room, a remodeled kitchen) is hidden behind walls and walls and walls in my brain. (Walls of what, you may wonder. That's a good question, and I do not know the answer! I just know there's a blockage!) It’s such a struggle for me to visualize end results in my head. You know what’s funny, though? I can picture outfits and clothes in my head beautifully! I just can’t picture what a room is going to look like when you add these cabinets, that tile, and those counters! HA!

I have absolutely no desire to be a do-it-yourselfer! Just like I have no desire to be on the TV show, “The Apprentice.” The thought of being a participant on the TV show, "The Apprentice," gives me anxiety to no end! So does the thought of being a do-it-yourselfer! Seriously, fear (honest to goodness real fear) and dread fill that part of my stomach where emotion exists just at the mere thought of even attempting to take on a do-it-yourself project.

That's what great about this world of ours. We have do-it-yourselfers...and then we have people who pay people to be do-it-yourselfers...and that's what makes this world go round...so really, I'm just actively contributing to society by not being a do-it-yourselfer! Ahhh, I can put a positive spin on anything, I tell ya!